Thursday, July 22, 2010

Back in the saddle

Not only Jamison, Ireland is great

With one hand administering a shot of gin and tonic, the good doctor stepped aside the bar to take a walk in diagnosis. Upon initial inspection, FINE was the case. But seeing as she asked for a tonic, I gathered this patient was in need of a specialist's assistance. And the doctors oath I took out of Satisfaction Medical School would not let me turn away any hot Irish, blond, sexy 21 year old just for traveling into my office/bar. I offered tonic of the bottle, but her real healing came with a back door touch. She moaned with enthusiasum at the Doctor's special healing powers. I too was surprised when she wanted to heal me...I accepted, but only shorty, as the doctor had many patients to serve that nite. Irish, banging hot, wantin cock, traveler had fun in the doctor's office on a Sunday nite. Doctor's perscription: Nothing wrong w/ speaking some international tounge.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Gay Like Me

Hey, do you ever wonder if gay dudes have like a secret language? I do. All the time. It's weird, cause I swear I get together with my dudes and we can look at each other and know "hey we're ditch'n this chick" or "yo there's a better party down the street" or "lets go smoke a bowl". Easy looks for me and my friends that speak. Therefore I figure these gays must have an invisible ink to hitting on each other. It could be gay blunt like "your muscles are hot" or super gay stealth like "geeze it's a beautiful day". Beautiful day might mean "your beautiful and I was born on a day, and today I wanna fuck you." I don't F'n know. I don't know what this language is but I swear it is out there and like Latin it confuses the rest of us. I ain't no homophobe, just prety intriguing how this society could make up a subversive language meant to either jack each other off or turn non believers into jacker offers.

I know they must have some look or some word like "hey jack" and that means "lets go fuck"...I don't know shit and I may get beat up by some gay bikers for this but, really, if I could just tell a hot girl "hey jack" and that means "lets go "F" in the bathroom", I suppose I probably would. There's gotta be something there.
Comments and hate letters equally welcome...

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Just a story for your entertainment

To all of you who have made out with a girl or ridden in a taxi, this is for you.

On a New York summer night I Met Kristen (at least that's what we'll call her) at a wine bar called 10 Degrees in the East Village. We both knew the bartender Dawn. As Dawn poured drinks, Khristhen and I flirted and made friends. We kissed in the bar, and when we went outside to smoke we became subject to applause. I've never had a standing ovation before, but when I gambled by grabbing Kristina and pulled her skirt up high against the brick wing wall which divided open summer and our kiss, this bar had something to say. We continued on, playing for the crowd, she kissed me hard, enjoying the attention from her public and within my thighs. We both knew the bartender and knew where this was going. Lucky us, Dawn had an apartment two doors down. Kristten got Dawn's keys, and on a brownstone couch in the East Village we fucked each others brains out.

Before I could ask we were in a cab back to my midtown apartment. Hands over tits, lips over hips, shirts on, pants coming off. About West 4th St and 6th Ave she asked if she could start sucking my hard dick. I had no objection to this, neither did our cabbie. By 6th Ave and 23rd St she found her way to sitting down and riding my yellow cab dick (sorry cant remember the medallion number). Panting and licking necks, pushing tits, her leggings wrapped around her neck, I pulled her hair, we fucked till both were wet...

African cabbie driver loved watching this in his rear view, gave me a thumbs up and he smiled. I smiled at those big tits as they bounced in my face while I fucked a NYC yellow cab pussy. She looked down and said "I just a cab". I was only too glad to be part of her NYC yellow cab story...

If you all keep livin' I'll keep livin' Shakespeare's 21st Century dream.

Dude, these chicks are fucking nut job romance novels high on cat piss and monkey cum. How can any of these chicks blindly believe that love is gonna kick them in the ass with someone they hardly even know. Hilariooooous: One of these hookers already cheated and banged one of the camera men...HAHAHA! Serve's ya right ya duchebag bachelor dude.

I think a Chip's-A-Hoy brings more to a conversation than these G-Strig stains. Talk about bringing nothing to the intellectual table..."Table? What table? I didn't see any table!?" The only impressive thing I see here is how ABC managed to accumulate such a cache of DUMB. The most impressive accomplishment these women can boast is making the short bus look a little longer. They're existence is nothing but a shallow lie they tell themselves in the hopes of loving Prince Charming. Let me tell you something sister, he might be hiding out there, but this jerk off who prances around in make up on a show called "The Bachelor", has producers pick out his socks, and openly fakes tears in front of millions of people for attention might actually be auditioning for another show: "The Bachelorette". Oh and I don't know about you, but 6 weeks of scripted dates fighting with 12 other bird brained cum guzzlers doesn't sound like being swept off your feet to me...
Hold on, wait, ya it does.
Keep holdin' on to that dream girls, you'll be back home dancin' on bars and triple kissing with bouncers soon enough.
"Duhhhh...He said he really liked me...I don't know why he wouldn't like me"

Friday, January 08, 2010

Star Whores III: Return of the Cougar

I met a cougar slut at Bryant Park on a Sunday before labor day 2007. She liked me, so I fucked her. I took her home in a cab, 2 across in the back seat so I finger banged this 1 hour Marylin in the New Your taxi cab heat on the way to my West Side apartment. I took her upstairs, licked and sucked her huge real titties, pulled her hair before I pulled her purple panties aside to stick my red hard dick right up inside that beautiful pink wet wanting pussy. She had dark hair, a shaved wet twat, 35 year old eyes and a mouth like a vampire. We fucked in sweat, we met in the park, and we both left wet.


Monday, January 04, 2010

Its a dirty tiiing

Fuck...Just fuckin' fuck. At every chance you get, whether she's fat or ugly, hot or busty. Fuck it when the green flag drops and she says go. Hell, you might as well get used while someone still wants to use you. Get dirty wherever you go; bar rooms, living rooms, pool tables, balconies, roof tops, hard wood floors, truck beds, fuckin' church peus and the YMCA. Eat pussy and suck cock; get your pussy eaten and have your cock sucked...all the time, tomorrow, tonight, fuckin' right now. Whores and Dickmen. THis is what we all are...Here to get off and go home with a smile.
Stay hard my people.

Keep it Wet

They cum and they go, these butts and sluts.
I try to tell them, they never learn...I'm you're midnight make out, you're playboy for two, just a story for you to take home and tell your friends about. I'll be your body shot or the bartender you slummed with in the bathroom stall. This life is nothing more than a pot full of laughter, a grog of lust, motivated by the attention of your opposition's attraction. If you disagree its cause your blinding yourself or focused on money...and money is power and power gets pussy; so again, the motive for attraction.
Girls are like a good song on the like it the first few times you hear it, then you can't stand the sound of it but you keep listening cause when its over the song puts you to bed with a smile on.
I know two things to be will always keep an eye on pussy and women will always keep an eye on their men.
Keep it wet.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

The Celebrity Window

On display, we run wicked games,
quick steps into laughter no time to delay
Get on the shot list, step up to the plate, its your turn to play.
Cue balls hit dominoes, the dice hit the floor, aces over deuces, these children seek more
We've run through the beach, feet filled with sand,
of translations in booze songs that pass through our hands
It's youthful laughter we enjoy so much,
we've protected ourselves and profected the touch.
It's a soft silly kiss or a sweet lullaby,
this craddle it rocks us to the lyrics of our lives
We strive for a place that we'll all feel free,
enjoying the playground that still swings me.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Tiger Tail

Ass, everyone has one and everyone likes to get some. You're a fool if you don't believe professional athletes cheat regularly. You're a fool to believe that lust doesn't trump morality every time. You're a fool if you're attitude about Tiger Woods has changed just because he cheated on his wife. Right or wrong, people have desires and given the chance people will fulfill them. Everyone loves being wanted by the opposite sex, people want the re-assurance that they are wanted and can still pull ass. We want to feel sexy, desirable, and get that rush that comes only with a new romantic encounter. People like to get down and dirty, we like to close the door and take it all off. Sex is addictive and like any other drug, once you've had it you want to repeat that high. Tiger Woods is the most recognizable athlete in the world, are you surprised women throw themselves at him? Please, he might be a Stanford dork but he's a rich famous Stanford dork. And if I know anything about women I know they love two things: Celebrity, and money. So go back to your homes, put away your tar and feathers, and leave the guy alone. And remember what they say, for every beautiful woman...There's a man who's tired of screwing her.

error in the midfield

Who doesnt like to get laid? Leaves of grass and soft balls, that's who. If she's in your kitchen, she's not there for the weather so make the most of it and light a fire of sedution and opportunity. Everybody loves sex, unless you're a liar. So keep hittin on hot people, look for love or lust, and begin a new fun adventure of guilty pleasure